Shameful

So I realize this is the first post that's actually from London. It really bugs me running around trying to scrounge hedge-internets from various hotel rooms and coffee shops, so I've been putting off the "check out my new london digs" post and the "Today we went and poked British guards in the face" post. Actually the guards were standing behind a giant fence and not even wearing bright red coats. Instead they were wearing grey coats, carrying large machine guns, and walking back and forth in a not very comical manner. Cowards. If not for their fancy fence they would have been subjected to a vicious poking that would shrivel the will of mortal ticklish men.

Anyway, as awesome as our new flat is, it is as yet unequipped with the internet. People have spoken of feeling homesick (or of averting such feelings with the use of a McDonald's hamburger); I feel homesick for readily accessible wireless broadband - my presence in the flat still feels transitory and probably will until we get internet installed. When that time comes, rest assured that this space will be full of touristy pictures and possibly a gloating Youtube tour of the flat. To tide you over until then, here's a picture of the guard that mocked me with his drab attire and heavily-armed aloofness:The poor quality of the picture is indicative of the distance his fence kept me at - a visual testament of his craven nature.

One day, Mr. Large Hat. One day.

As Pretty as an Airport...

Walking around an airport is a rather odd exercise. On the one hand, you're standing in the middle of what amounts to a mall, complete with multiple food courts, bookstore, jewelry store, place to buy neckties, angry people, bewildered children, and a branch of that one store next to the Apple store at Carousel that sells shiny breakable objects. On the other hand you're tethered to a 50 pound block of clothes that rolls like a donkey on rollerskates. I wonder if this is what being a parent feels like - wandering through a bright shopping district but unable to fully immerse yourself in consumerism because of the small, squat, rectangular canvas entity that hangs off your wrist.

In pre-9/11 days (when the mountains sparkled with sugar, and rivers ran with liquid chocolate with narry a diabolical dwarf in sight), travelers were reluctant to leave their luggage unattended for more than 45 seconds because of the ever-present threat of luggage snatchers, who would abscond with an easily-transportable unattended parcel in a manner similar to that employed by those wishing to elope with farmers' daughters. In these safer times, such a threat has been all but eliminated - the possibility of theft by vagrants has been replaced by the certainty that unattended baggage will be immediately spirited away by airport ninjas. Not content to merely divide their spoils among compatriots for either individual sale on the black market or decorative arrangement above a mantlepiece in place of a trophy buck (the accepted path for appropriated goods among vagrants), these unseen aerial warriors of the night use a PA system to inform all who come within their boundaries of their intentions: to confiscate and, if possible, destroy all unattended luggage. One can only assume that behind this desire lies a desperate fear of being left alone, and the drive to spare luggage (and, by extension of earlier metaphor, small children) the pain of being deserted, offering them instead the sweet release of death. While certainty can often be regarded as an improvement over possibility, progress is indeed a cruel mistress.

It's a bit on the late side

So all the packing is done except for the last-minute stuff. Tomorrow I'm off to London by way of NYC by way of Syracuse by way of a car. This room is the cleanest it's been since I got back from school. And there's a lime. Not sure where it came from - I'm guessing Florida.

Annnd it's 4:12 a.m. Went a bit late packing, since it came after hanging out with Tom, Evan, and Dan one last time, with much reminiscing, profanity, and condemnations of French cowardice from all.

So I've got a blog, and i'll try to write in it as much as possible. More exciting tales will undoubtedly come, Internet-willing, and hopefully when i'm not too tired to form coherent sentences as is quickly becoming the case. Crazy day tomorrow - hoping for a snake-free flight and i'll hopefully be back in touch soon.

FAQ:
What's with the lime?
What, you don't like limes? They're tasty. They add zest.